Heavy Heart
They say that there is someone for everyone. Is that true or is it something that was made up to make those who cant seem find anyone that they care about feel better? It is also said that it is better to Love and lose then to not love at all. Do you wonder if the person who coined this phrase had experienced the draining of their heart when the one they love(d) no longer feels the same way or do you think that that person would like to revise their thoughts?
You can not chose who you like and/or love. Its one the many obstacles in life that man kind struggles to control. I wrote before about a young lady from High School whom I let slip through my fingers.
Since I always learn from my mistakes, I decided it wouldn’t ever happen again. So along comes, lets just call her, X and we become friends. I decide that she could be the one, but the timing is never right. The friendship continues to grow and grow to the point that the next step for us would be something intimate. I say to myself, “Self.. everything worth having is worth waiting for”. Well years past and i find myself still waiting to see what happens. Dont get me wrong I dated and what not during this time period, but always in the back my head X has stayed. Its sad because I probably hurt a lot of women.
So it dawned on me today that we are probably not going to happen because I have crossed that “friend” threshold. I dont blame her because we had a conversation and in that convo she stated that she would rather us stay the way we are for fear of ruining the friendship. Honestly, if thats the way she feels.. Im okay with it because I stand by statement I made to her long ago “I just want you to be happy”. With or without me as something more than a friend as long as shes happy Im good.
I must admit although Im taking the higher more mature road by not saying anything out of anger that I will regret almost as soon as it comes out my mouth my heart is still heavy.
@tcherry
P.S. See Im not all asshole. Just 95%
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